Co-ed Hostels, What are?

"A guy and a girl in one room"

While this sounds pretty fancy and bold, if you may. We need to sit back and talk about the whole setup in terms of our Indian Society. The Indian Society as I see it is roughly segregated in two sections. A section which is progressing and adapting to the changes around us. People who are broad minded and don’t shun away these bold ideas. The other section is left behind and is still stuck in the olden times. They are far from adopting to these changes around us and in a way poison any change they see around them. They will shrug at the mere thought of even talking about these things, let alone try to implement it.

"One bad apple spoils the whole bunch”

This saying is too old and has been overused. But it still perfectly fits the situation here. We all know how easily can people get influenced these days, try to sell something to them by saying the right things and they will easily be swayed. This applies to the human nature as well. We are all aware of the mishaps that are happening around the country. Straight from the National Capital Region to the remote villages. I don’t think I need to go into the details here. We have all read enough about them.

A possibility? 

I'll take my college, MIT, Manipal, for a case study here. We have most of the girls hostel blocks on one side and most of the boys hostels on one side. The Guards blow their whistles at the boys as soon as the clock strikes 2230. These whistles are a sign that it is time to leave the space and go back to their own marked space. This geographical division is important for something as huge as the MIT Campus to function. It gives the authorities a few lesser things to worry about. They don’t have to worry about whatever happens inside the hostels. They just make sure that the right people are in the right sectors after the right time and that is it.

Let’s assume that we had co-ed hostels on our campus. Straight off, we might see a dip in the amount of PDA on the streets. Jokes apart, I think the authorities will keep doing rounds and they will in the end result in creating geographical barriers inside the hostel as well. Because that is the only way the authorities can keep themselves satisfied. There are too many things to doubt here. A real life example will help in explaining why these boundaries will eventually come into play. IIM Calcutta is one of the premier institutes in India to have co-ed hostels. They have something called the Old Block. But they also have different wings for the girls. Essentially in our country that is the only way to make this thing work. You might have a co-ed hostel for the sake of it. Inside it, the story will be same. 

In most Indian schools, the girls are made to sit on separate benches than the boys. They are told to maintain a safe distance at all times. While the modern thinkers might argue against this. I think that this is hard truth that is in effect in India. We have a different high school structures from the West and it is inevitable that we end up with having a different policy up through the ranks in the universities as well. In a country where the modern thinkers are forced to conduct gatherings like the “Kiss of Love” to prove it to people that boys and girl can co-exist safely and intimately. We are far away from hostels which allow random and unrelated boys and girl to live under the same roof, let alone in the same room. The country is not ready for it. The sad truth is that we might never be ready for it. 

Being Sachin, What is?

This is more of a sentimental post. I wrote this for manipalthetalk.net - This was my very first article. Published on the 24th of December, 2012. It was written after Sachin's retirement from One Day cricket. I am re-posting this, memories sake.

Being Sachin 

 Twenty-three years, countless memories  

When you think of Sachin Tendulkar, your mind is filled with so many instances of pure cricketing genius, it is actually very hard to pick one out. For me those three famous deliveries in the World Cup of 2003 stand out. Because it perfectly defines Tendulkar’s brilliance. A perfect balance of controlled aggression and flawless technique. First came a six, then a four, then divine magic – pure cricketing genius. You can never grow old of watching that. India facing Pakistan at cricket’s biggest stage, Akhtar versus Sachin being the battle everyone was looking out for, some even labeling it as the most crucial. India chasing a stiff 275. The stage was perfectly set. Shoaib shared the new ball with Akram, but these three strokes, the sheer intensity with which they were delivered, shook the Pakistani camp. Shoaib was taken out of the attack after that one eventful over. You don’t expect such a fate to one of the most terrifying bowlers of the modern age. The menace called Shoaib Akhtar had been neutralized in spectacular style. But, that is what Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar does to you. He intimidates you. And then he delivers, all of which seems effortless at times, cricketing comes naturally to him - as if he was born to do this. Day in day out, he has set up so many victories for India. And all that with impeccable elegance.  

Today he retires from the shorter version of the game, which he has dominated in an unprecedented manner. Amassing over 18000 runs, keeping the ‘fame’ monster at bay. For having a career spanning over 20 years, you need to have special qualities. And he seemed to have them all: Mental Strength, Dedication, Ability to bat in different gears, Adaptability, Planning, Execution, Discipline – you name them, he has it. 

2670, these are the number of official ODIs that chanced during the time Sachin played his first and the last. He played started playing with some of the players from the 1983 winning squad and he went on to be a part of the 2011 winning squad. It has been quite a journey. We can talking about the statistics – the numbers, but everyone is aware of that. And there have been heaps of them – Runs, Hundres and Records. But, Sachin is much more than that, inspiring a whole generation of kids to go out and follow their dream – eventually making them realize that if you have the will, there is a way. He touched so many lives, with his politeness and his kind words. Think of all the young cricketers he ever spoke to, and told them that ‘Yes, you can do it’ - we cannot even start to think how much it would have meant to them – how much it would have lifted them. See him in the light of the burden of expectation he carries – the expectations of a mad about cricket nation – and numbers just seem to be the least of his achievements – Such is his aura. Because the lives you touch eventually goes on to define what a person you have been. And he has touched millions of them. All around, without doubt. 

Some Moments:  

18 Dec 1989: His ODI debut. He becomes the 74^th player to be ever capped for India (119 players have been capped ever since) – Tendulkar didn't had a dream start to his one-day career against Pakistan at Gujaranwala was out for a duck off Waqar Younis. Humble.

November, 1993: With South Africa needing six runs to win off the last over of their Hero Cup semi-final against India, bowls a sensational over, giving them just three, and India victory. Talking about it, he said that there was no plan for him to bowl – but he was feeling confident and asked for the ball. Golden Arm.  

March, 1994: Opens in an ODI for the first time - against New Zealand. Goes on to make 82 off 49 balls. The story behind it is that the then regular opener Navjot Singh Sidhu woke up with a stiff neck. Sachin requested Captain Mohammad Azharuddin and Ajit Wadekar (coach) to "just give me one opportunity and I am very confident of playing some big shots. And if I fail, I'll never ever come to you again". Confidence.  

September, 1994: His 79^th match, his first ODI hundred – against his favourite opponents Australia. Long time coming, notched up 16 fifties in the meantime. Beginning.  

1996 World Cup: With 523 runs at 87.16, is the highest scorer in the World Cup held in the Indian sub-continent. Scores two centuries and three half-centuries. Big Stage.  

April, 1998: Scores two blazing, back-to-back hundreds against Australia at Sharjah to help India reach the final and then win it. It was Warne versus Tendulkar. And Tendulkar got the better of him. Destroyed.  

1999 World Cup: Tendulkar's father, Ramesh Tendulkar, a reputed Marathi novelist died in the middle of the tournament. Tendulkar flew back to India to attend the final rituals of his father, missing the match against Zimbabwe. However, he returned with a bang scoring a century (unbeaten 140 off 101 balls) in his very next match against Kenya in Bristol. He dedicated this century to his father. Fighter.  

March, 2001: Becomes the first player to score 10,000 runs in one-day cricket in the course of his 139 against Australia in Indore. Milestone.  

2003 World Cup: Scores 673 runs at 61.18 in the World Cup, taking India to within a win of the world crown. His 98 against Pakistan is one of the best knocks played by an Indian at the World Cups. He is named the Man of the Series. Paramount.  

November, 2007: The last time he came out to bat with the other half of the most succesful pair in ODI cricket, Sourav Ganguly. With Ganguly, Tendulkar added 8227 partnership runs at 47.55, with 26 century stands - the runs scored and the hundred stands are the highest. 50% more than Marvan Atapattu and Sanath Jayasuriya's 5462. Tendulkar also put together 4000-plus runs with Virender Sehwag (4387 runs at 39.16) and Rahul Dravid (4117 runs at 44.26). Teamwork.  

March 2008: Going into the first final of the CB Series, Tendulkar has not accomplished many things: an ODI century in Australia, a century in 37 innings, a chase-winning century since 2001. He marks them all off his list with a brilliant 117 off 120 balls and leading India to the 240-run target just about solo. He scores 91 in the second final. And India lift the CB Series. Achieved. 

November, 2009: Crosses 17,000 ODI runs during his 175 off 141 balls in a run-chase of 351 against Australia in Hyderabad. It is a chanceless innings that ends 19 runs short of the target, but India choke after his wicket and lose. One of the best.  

February, 2010: A stunning display in Gwalior makes Tendulkar the first player to score 200 in a single innings in a one-day international. It comes off just 147 deliveries, with 118 runs coming off boundaries. The ultimate ODI innings. Age no bar.  

2011 World Cup: After five unsuccessful attempts, Tendulkar finally gets his hands on the World Cup trophy as India win the tournament in style. He contributes handsomely scoring 482 runs at an average of 53.55 – including two centuries. During the course the tournament, he also becomes the first batsman to score 2000 runs and six centuries in World Cup matches. The Indian players lifted him during a victory march around the ground, how fitting – after having carried the expectation of a whole nation for over 20 years, he gets an appropriate gesture. Champion.  

March, 2012: Finally, 34 innings and more than a year after scoring his 99th international hundred, Tendulkar reaches the landmark that might never be equaled, scoring 114 in an Asia Cup match against Bangladesh in Mirpur. Century of centuries, if anyone could have done it, it was him. 100 reasons.  

18 March 2012: His last ODI innings. 52 off 48 balls in a match in which Kohli demolished the Pakistani attack with a splendid 183. His career started with Pakistan and ends with Pakistan. He got the better of Pakistan in the end. The king must have the final word anyway. Alas. 

  

Some Numbers: 

18426: The most runs scored by any batsman in one-day cricket. 15,310 of these as an opener. 11,157 of these in a winning cause. Almost 35% more than the next-best (Ricky Ponting's 13,704) 

9234: 2016x4 + 195x6 – The runs scored in boundaries. 50.11% of the total runs. An exact 50, make it a happy co-incidence. The most balanced batsman of our times. 

463: The most number of one-day internationals played by any player.  

154: Number of ODI wickets, which puts him in 11th place among Indian bowlers. 

96: The most number of half-centuries by any batsman in the ODIs.  

62: Most player-of-the-match awards. 

49: The maximum number of centuries scored by any batsman in the ODIs. 63% better than the second-highest (Ponting with 30). 34 of these in winning cause. Nine of these coming against the best team to play during his time, Australia. He scored more than 3000 runs against Australia making him the highest run getter against them.

1: One man. A champion run getter, immensely respected by opponents, loved by team mates, feared by bowlers, idolized by a country and above all a humble human. To stand out among the crowd, you need to have that extra special something and Sachin seemed to be blessed with these qualities. The ability to be able to touch a million lives and inspire a whole of generation while being the best at what you do is something very rare, we are very lucky to have seen him play in person, the generation to come will only get to hear the stories. A whole generation is witness of his rise and rise in the game he loved. A whole generation see their hero hanging up his boots in a format, over 23 years, he made his own. You will be missed. Farewell!!

The United Road, What is?

This is our last embrace ... This is our last goodbye

If rumours are to be believed Louis van Gaal is set to be the next United manager. He will be the first manager outside the United Kingdom to manage the club, yes the FIRST. This season has been dismal one and where I agree Moyes was not showing progress. Maybe he could have had the first half of next season and the summer for squad building. Lets just agree Moyes was sacked for the good of the club.

I fear that van Gaal will come in and change a lot of things about the way we play, about the way we go on about things, about the 'United Way' - we have always played football a certain way, not just during the Fergie era but before that during the 60s and the 70s after the Munich disaster. "All those lads you see going to the factory in Trafford Park, they come to watch you on Saturday," Busby told Charlton. "They have boring jobs, so you have to give them something they will enjoy."

Today, we saw a lot of things that are resonant with this so called 'United Way' - a star is born in 18 year old James Wilson who scored a brace on his first team debut, a 19 year old Belgian Adnan Januzaj dictated proceedings on a emotional night at Old Trafford and our caretaker manager came down for a stroll assisted Persie and almost scored himself.

"It is my philosophy and it is Manchester United's philosophy" Giggs said in his first presser. What will happen to this philosophy, what will happen to the certain way we play football, what will happened to the 'United Way'

The times are changing and I don't know where are we gonna go from
here. The future is uncertain and it is scaring me.

The United Road no more?

#MUFC

Thinking, What is?

 “People don't like to think, if one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant”

It is true in more ways than you would want to agree. It all lies behind the big actuality that we find it easier to run from realities than otherwise. But, then again what are realties? Have you ever asked that question to yourself? I always think that death is the only permanent thing around us and nothing can beat that. It is true in a way, but there are subplots. The subplots are the ones that keep us busy, but yet we choose to throw them away. We never really create them.

“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation”

Everyone I know has a hard time worrying about what others are doing, and then adapting the same in their life.  This lack of originality is killing us every day before the ultimate truth finally falls on us. We don’t want to think our way through matters of importance. We feed our brain with things that don’t really matter much. We let others take our decisions, or better, we don’t take decisions at all. What are we doing, if not participating in a dumb muffled march to the grave? If we don’t think, are we actually living?

“There is no inherent purpose to life. Create your own”

It is always about asking the right questions, to yourself. Think it through within yourself. The questions that trouble you are the questions that would matter eventually. So, how do we expect to decide on something when the need arises? If we are not mentally strong, we are not really doing much about anything else around us, as I said it has always been a lonely walk to the grave. Everything around us is mostly an illusion, nothing except the thoughts in our head stay, but yet we fill out heads with things that have a temporary stay. Only those who do their tit-bits of pondering day-in and day-out, or least once in a while, are the ones who are near to that state of being able to decide when the need arises. The same ones who try to know themselves in peaceful hours.

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”

Everything is this world is relative, and it is justified in one way or the other. It doesn't matter how a million people would think similarly on something, you should and must know that you can think differently on that, because it is your thought process that counts, not a random strangers. It is just you. There is no one else. There has never been anyone else. Just the illusions.

Start thinking before it is too late, start thinking and making mental notes before it is all over. Go observe people and wonder why they are doing what they are doing. The peaceful hours are the ones that count in the end, start reflecting and questioning and believe me you will enjoy the subplots that come along.

Thought Clouds: Fill them up. They create subplots.

Acceptance, What is?

You are living your monotonous life – normal existence - doing things the same way you do. In comes something bad, with the element of surprise, and it hits us hard. It is actually human nature, to go into that kind of ‘shocked’ zone when something we don’t see coming comes our way regardless of it being something good or bad. When we live our normal life, we think we are capable of objective reasoning and we feel pretty confident about it. And that is actually where we go wrong. Because during such a scenario, our mind is in a latent state – unclouded by doubt and free of undue emotions.  We think that we are doing all the right things. But, when we are put into a test – the delicate moment we receive a bad news, our mind goes into a bizarre roller coaster ride.

It all starts with denial, a small idea which says to you that you are right, the situation which you are currently experiencing can’t be happening. All the things around you are unreal. No external agent can hinder anything in your universe. These feelings of denial completely take you over.

 At this point, there is a fine line dividing feelings of denial and anger. Anger makes you take a completely different route, while on the denial road – you are quiet and the thoughts are inside your own head – anger makes them public and vocal. The exact opposite.

Then according to your nature, you go on the next step can be either aggression or depression. Aggression may involve you getting physical with any elements associated with the ‘bad’ news and taking matters into your own hand – feel in control of something or venting out your belligerence on a totally isolated quantity. Everything that mind feeds you during such a phase sounds right and just. Depression on the other hands incites feelings of confusion and more denial. ‘Trapped’ and ‘hopeless’ are some common words that keep doing the rounds in the head. This phase of aggression or depression can stay on for quite a while.

After losing the battle in your head, you will finally start to bargain with the situation. You let down the strong resistance you were showing and start agreeing to the things. And accepting the facts. You say to yourself that no miracle is going to happen and I might as well go on with the rest of my life. You decide that getting out of this mess is the best step forward as you will be able to focus on other things and that you will be able to think clearly again and that it will be more productive than just wallowing in misery.

Acceptance, finally the roller coaster ends. ‘Trapped’ and ‘hopeless’ are replaced by ‘blessing in disguise’ and ‘glad this happened’ – you start appreciating your life again. And you say to yourself that whatever happened was for the best and it could have been worse. Ultimately we are back to normal existence.

It helps

Normal Existence --> Bad News --> Denial --> Anger --> Aggression/Depression --> Bargain --> Acceptance --> Normal Existence

I am sure you will be able to relate this in some way or the other. You must have experience this hell of a ride many a times in your life. Next time when you are in such a situation, relate this to that situation and try to cut the amount of time you waste in self-pitying and wallowing. Try to accept facts quickly and it will surely help living a better life.

Hope, What is?

Hope and Expectations

Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one

Our life’s journey to find contentment is a standalone escapade (it comes from within and embraces your peaceful mind) and no external source can make it happen for you.

Having said that, we more than often procure others in this pursuit of happiness and load them up with expectations of which they are often oblivious. That being said, expectations are somewhat a natural construct and we, ourselves are unaware that we pin up a zillion expectations with the people closest to us. Because naturally, you want what is best for you. Quite frankly, being selfless is kind of a hard task. And it requires a lot of premeditation to be out of this lethal web. 


But it is very obvious that it is “expectations” that cause relationships to unravel, angers to flash, and what-once-appeared-to-be-good, to turn evil.  We all essentially have that little child in us, which wants us to chase after good things. There is Santa. Someone or the other must have given us this childhood lesson that expecting anything from others is unreasonable. But still we do, we need to get out of this scheme. Only bad things stem from expectations. We can hope, but we can never expect!

Hope is something we generate within and through our desires we project out into to the world – hope depends only on us:  our dreams, our goals, and our thoughts.  We hope for an outcome, we hope for things to happen, and we hope to feel a certain way when “it” happens.  Hope does not need others to be involved in our journey.

Expectation is a totally different story because by its nature others are intimately (and often unintentionally) involved every step of the way.  No doubt they are created internally as well, expectations are immediately infused with judgment and is criticality based on “what would we do.” Expectations are like giving out roles to others and then blame those who don’t play their role the way it sounds in your head. We always want to see, around us, things that sound right in our head. But it rarely happens. Everyone thinks differently. “Unfulfilled” expectations create detours and needless interruptions on our road to contentment.

A one way road you might regret taking

Good Hope and Bad Hope 

Hope is a good breakfast, but a terrible supper

Hope is a good thing to get you started, it gives us the right amount of positive energy. But if kept close and embraced for too long, it has the potential to be the worst of evils and will only prolong our torments.

Hope can also be negative when it's false, or against all odds. Such is the case of the gambler who spends his time believing that the big payday is just around the corner, or the not-so-talented actor who dreams of success in the industry. Sure, it's possible that either of these people could realize their dreams, but the odds are stacked against them. In these instances, hope simply acts as a distraction from more achievable or realistic goals.

Hope is an attachment to a future that’s already perfect

Given that hope by its very nature is future oriented, one can say that people focused on hope are simply looking for an excuse to escape from the present. Part of the danger of looking toward the future is that you miss out on what's happening today, all around you. Even if your hopes for the future are realized, it's easy to continuously create new expectations, masking them as hope, which keep you from ever truly living in the moment.

Hope is a bad thing. It means that you are not what you want to be. It means that part of you is dead, if not all of you. It means that you entertain illusions. When you find yourself very angry in a certain situation - isn’t your anger derived from the fact that you saw (hoped) yourself succeeding?

Hope is an evil. And hopelessness is a blessing in disguise.

Surely, it doesn’t looks like a disguise at first, it looks bad and evil and what not. It seems to cause a sort of despair, right? But, what happens when you eventually get to that stage where you’ve lived in the despair long enough to realize that bad things exist in the world and are in fact a natural part of it? What happens is acceptance. Hopelessness leads to acceptance. After you’ve learned that bad things happen on a more constant basis that good things do, you accept this.

Hope will allow you to perceive good things happening in your future, but when they don’t guess what happens; despair. You’re filled with despair because the wonderful world you laid out in your mind, isn’t going as planned. Then you just get back to hoping for an even more wonderful future (a never ending self-destructive cycle).

Acceptance on the other hand lets you go on in life, but not by letting you imagine your life turning out all nice and superb, but by letting you realize that you can’t predict the future, that bad things happen in this world, and that through past experience you’ve survived all the bad things that have already happened, thus you can live another day to face the evils of tomorrow.

Acceptance lets you see the world for what it is. Acceptance gets rid of despair (leading to a happier life). And acceptance can only be gained by first experiencing hopelessness.

It is upto you to decide whether you want to experience more hopelessness and is it time to embrace acceptance now?

Change, What is?

A year ago, I guess I was busy looking for the mysterious road to a respectable high school finals. Then, I gave a dozen engineering entrance exams, and finally ended up in MIT, Manipal, which is roughly 2200 Kilometers from home, and which according to Google Maps can be reached in 38 hours by road (bearing a mere 99 important turns in mind). Did things I never thought I will do: make my bed, look after dirty clothes, walk for five minutes every day to get food – the list actually is pretty long. And now, I am finally back home after getting over with the first semester. And for most parts of all that chanced in the past year I was pretty much left alone. Well, now when I reflect on it, it is actually petrifying. Change always is.

I never had a good rapport with Change, it always defeats me in our little debates in my head. Why does Change always win? Maybe because it has the element of surprise, whenever you think of a new scenario, something you have never experienced before, you do think of the worst possible way in which that situation can pan out, and when I having such thoughts, Change comes in and makes its moves, making me all terrified. And from that point, it is impossible to get the better of Change.

Change threatens my comfort zone, a zone which I am familiar of, which I am confident of. And our confidence is something which builds up over time, the more time we spend in our surroundings, the more confident we are to deal with the problems that may come. Confidence is dependent on this familiarity without surroundings. It takes a lot of energy to build up this confidence and trust. So we have a tendency to stay in the same state as we are, be it good or bad. When Change comes knocking our door, it requires a lot of investment of energy, which we are reluctant of. Because we will have to repeat this process of trust building once again. And the idea of staying in the same comfort zone as we are, looks very appealing right about then. It does always to me.

But properly breaking it down, what I think is that we have this mental debate with Change, it is only then when we fear. Not when it is actually happening, because in the actual happening of the event, we are too busy playing out our parts. The battles of the mind are always tough ones, and I think it is alright to be scared, because that is what makes us human. It is okay to be in doubt, to be not sure about things. Because that allows us to appreciate the grand scheme of things, when everything eventually falls into place.

Always happening around us

So, all in all I think it is okay to be scared of change, because it is the only constant in life, it will happen whether we want it or not, and we are the ones who get the better of Change in the longer run. It sure does gets us down in the debates in the mind. But, you cannot always be in your same comfort zone, so the next time when Change beats you in your head, be ready for huge things to come your way. We cannot do without Change, because without change we would just be immobile organic matter marching towards our graves.